Two

Brinlee,
Well another year has come and gone. I can’t believe you would be 2 years old today. I miss you so much everyday, and I wonder what you would be doing and what you would look like today. I wonder how I would juggle having you and your twin sisters right now who are 9 months old. You would probably be extremely helpful, or you would think you were being extremely helpful in taking care of your sisters. I wish you were here trying to help me change their diapers, feed them, or whatever else you thought you needed to do. I still don’t quite understand why I was chosen to lose you, when your daddy and I wanted nothing else but to love you and raise you now. I know that is an extremely selfish thought though, because I know that I was blessed to have an angel for a daughter who was so perfect in the pre-existence that you didn’t even need to prove yourself in this earthly life. How lucky am I to be your mother. I wonder if your sisters see you, and know who you are. I wonder what conversations you had with them before they were born. I just mostly want you to know that even though I get completely wrapped up in taking care of your sisters, that you are never very far off of my mind. I love you so so much, and as I watch your sisters grow and learn new things, it just makes me realize all that I missed out on with you. I wish I was running after a two year old and two 9 month olds, I know it sounds crazy, but I really do. I love you and your sisters more than anything, and I am so blessed to have them here to help me deal with the lose of you. You are such an example to me , Daddy, Bailee, & Berklee. I know that I sometimes fall short and need to be a stronger more valiant person. I am sorry if I have ever disappointed you, and I promise to try harder to be a better person. I love you Brinlee Jo, and I hope you are having a great birthday playing with your Grandpa Dean. I love, and miss you so much, and I pray for the day when I will get hold you in my arms and kiss those little cheeks again. Happy Birthday baby girl.
Love,
Mommy